Anger can lead to problems with your health. When you experience anger problems, you may not cope well with stress. You may have lower self-esteem and may be more likely to experience drug or alcohol problems. Anger can also have significant effects on your body. It can lead to muscle tension, increased heart rate, and other uncomfortable or unhealthy body responses. People who don’t manage their anger well are more likely to get sick because their bodies aren’t able to fight illness or disease. Poorly managed anger can even lead to heart problems. What can I do about my anger? Anger is a sign you need to take constructive action. Anger is a source of energy to get things done and to solve problems. The goal of learning to manage anger is to minimise the negative consequences of this powerful emotion and maximise the positive ones. Strength lies in composure, not confrontation. There are three main ways to manage anger: 1. Emotions Relaxation: You can’t be relaxed and angry at the same time. Think of anger as your boiling point. If you turn down the temperature, you keep yourself from boiling over. Learning to relax can help lower your daily arousal level. Then, when you’re provoked, you have a much greater distance to travel before you get extremely mad. Humour: It is also difficult to be angry when you’re laughing. It is easy to take life’s annoyances too seriously. Making an effort to see the humour in your frustrations and aggravations can help to combat an automatic angry reaction. 2. Thinking Patterns Manage Your Thoughts: A good way to lower anger is to manage angry thoughts about the situation. Take the following steps:
Empathy: You may feel angry when you think that the other person’s behaviour was intended to hurt you in some way. Often, other people’s behaviour has nothing to do with you personally. It usually reflects how they are coping with things in their own lives. To make empathy work for you, ask yourself: “What does this situation feel like for the other person?” 3. Behaviours Problem-Solving: Anger management is a strategic and calculated confrontation aimed at solving a problem. The trick to managing anger well is to have a problem-solving goal. This means making sure that your response to your angry feelings is directed at solving the problem. Don’t take your feelings out on everyone around you, use them in a directed way to solve the problem. Being Assertive Without Being Aggressive: How you communicate depends on your goals. Your goals (even when angry) may include improving a valued relationship, maintaining your self-respect, solving a problem, making a request, communicating your feelings, showing understanding, and more. Anyone can learn assertive communication skills. Being assertive does not mean behaving aggressively to get your own way. Genuine assertiveness is about respecting yourself, respecting others and learning how to communicate your feelings honestly and with care. You communicate your needs without hurting others. See our list of resources on the next page for more on assertiveness. If managing staff with anger issues is challenging in your workplace, and it would be helpful to have stress management and resilience building workshops for the staff, then get in touch with us today
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