"We can be surrounded by many people and still feel lonely." What is loneliness? It doesn’t necessarily mean we are alone. It is a sense of feeling alone. As the quote states you can feel lonely surrounded by many people. Being in the same room as people isn’t the same as feeling connected. In fact, it can often make us feel more alone if we don’t feel connected to the people around us. Most of us will go through stages in our life where we feel lonely. Feeling vulnerable and lonely is part of the human condition. Even though the world is now more connected than ever before, people are feeling increased loneliness. In fact, the trend to communicate via social media can magnify our feelings of loneliness and low self-esteem, ‘I’m not getting enough likes on my posts’, ‘I’m not having as much fun as they are.’ Loneliness can be caused by depression, social anxiety or it can activate ‘childhood abandonment issues.’ All of these conditions can lead us to feel ‘not good enough’, ‘not liked enough’, and ‘that there is something wrong with us.’ It is often stated that staying socially connected is one of the main factors of maintaining our resilience, but we all have times where we actually want to spend time alone and may feel socially exhausted. Especially after a busy period of socialising. I often hear that one of the main factors of stress for staff in organisations is feeling ‘not being heard or listened to’. We all want to be understood, and have our concerns taken seriously. Being understood takes connection that requires time and commitment from others. In a highly stressed organisation time is precious and not often provided in the way that is necessary for staff to feel heard. Feeling understood helps us to feel more connected, supported and less isolated. Often confronting loneliness means confronting ourselves, as loneliness comes from a sense of low self-worth. If we are socialising and continue to feel lonely, this would suggest that the loneliness isn’t based on the fact we are alone, but it is based on how we perceive ourselves. Loneliness can affect all of us, from the extrovert through to the introvert. Some people will try to guise their loneliness by being out all the time or partying hard, sometimes resulting in taking drugs or drinking excessive amounts of alcohol, to drown out the feelings of loneliness. The ‘life and soul of the party’ may be creating constant noise around them to drown out the negative berating thoughts they have about themselves. Additionally, some people have a fear of being alone, as they are left with these berating thoughts and the uncomfortable feelings that come up to the surface. Therefore, being constantly busy can be a way of avoiding being alone. People may remove themselves from social settings because they are going through a tough time and don’t know how to talk about it. Has something happened to cause you a great deal of stress? Some people who have experienced a traumatic incident often describe feeling disconnected, as if the world is going on around them and they are just onlookers. Another contributing factor of loneliness is moving to a new area, going through a divorce, or suffering from the death of someone close to us. For others, the people they expect to be there for them aren’t, and this can exacerbate feelings of loneliness, ‘if my own family won’t make time for me, then who will?’ We might find that we are trying to connect to people that won’t be there for us, instead of noticing and spending time with those that are there for us, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy, by convincing ourselves that there is something wrong with us. Feeling isolated and lonely can lead to more serious self-harming behaviours and thoughts. Watch out for anyone who is becoming disconnected or isn’t showing up at social events. Check-in with them and signpost them to professional services if they are really struggling. Signs of loneliness:
The best way to deal with uncomfortable feelings is to stop and listen to them. What are they informing me? What advice would they want to give me? Why are they here right now? 10 ways to manage feelings of loneliness:
Connectedness makes our lives more interesting and is vital for our survival, at the same time we need to give ourselves permission to stop, spend time alone, reflect and prioritise our own self-care. Often when we come out of a period of loneliness, we have a renewed energy to connect to others, so be kind to yourself and reassure yourself this will pass. Reframe being alone as a period of rejuvenation and reflection, so you can turn the fear of being alone into a period of transition and empowerment. For organisations looking for employee psychological support, FD Consultants are the trauma specialists and well-being service who will best deliver a reliable, quick, and bespoke support system in the workplace. FD Consultant’s team of accredited specialists will offer ongoing support to help manage stress, prevent burnout and provide specialist trauma care where required, enabling your staff with the tools to cope, and recover more quickly.
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Many of us have taken the time out to express our gratitude to others, but very few of us have really invested the energy in focusing on what we are grateful for in ourselves. When was the last time you took time to thank yourself?
If you’re like me, it’s much more natural and comfortable to thank others than it is to stop and thank yourself. That can feel indulgent, ridiculous, and unnecessary – why thank myself for doing the things I have to do? Here’s why – writing a thank-you letter to yourself can help you see how far you’ve come. It can remind you of the things you’ve overcome and how much you’ve grown. It can highlight qualities you possess but don’t necessarily think about all the time, and it can also highlight what matters to you, what you’re passionate about, and what you dream of in the most sacred part of your soul. Writing a thank-you letter to yourself is an opportunity to pause, reflect, accept, and appreciate who you are and where you’ve been while providing inspiration for moving forward and continued growth. While this practice is simple, there is nothing easy about it. This is a powerful exercise and not something to be undertaken lightly. But the insights are truly profound and well-worth the effort. How to Write a Thank-You Letter to Yourself
Be gentle with yourself as you do this exercise. Tears may be shed as past hurts are revisited, losses are acknowledged, and you’re confronted with proof of just how much you’ve been through and how hard you’ve worked. Growth should be celebrated, and you deserve to be reminded of how unique and wonderful you truly are. Take time today to practice gratitude and give yourself the appreciation you deserve. Self-worth is simply defined as the level of importance you place on yourself. It is an emotional outlook that determines how and what you feel about yourself in comparison to other people.
Self-worth is a fundamental part of our being, and it controls the way we see ourselves. Everything we think about, all the emotions we feel, and even the way we act is a product of what value we place on ourselves by ourselves. What is Self-Worth? It can be somewhat overwhelming to see yourself for who “you really are” without the assets or dream job or friends. Everyone has a mental picture of who they want to be. It’s okay to have ambitions and life goals, but never let your dreams make you deny yourself. Self-denial is an enemy to self-worth. The Importance of Self-Worth The best part about recognising self-worth is seeing the practical impact it has on your behaviour. Self-worth affects the things you do and the choices you make. You start rejecting anything that has a negative effect on your outlook on life, and you become more open to things crafted to make you a better person. Self-worth is what keeps you satisfied even if all your achievements, assets, and possessions are taken away from you. The moment you reach healthy levels of self-worth, life becomes much more meaningful. Strength in self-worth comes from finding qualities you excel at. These qualities will be a constant reminder whenever you start feeling like you are not worthy enough. Little things like a list of your talents, things you like about yourself that make you stand out, challenges you’ve won at, how you’ve helped other people, and other great reflections are examples of questions you should have answers to. Your strength lies in those questions. How To Start Increasing Your Self-Worth On your journey to recognise self-worth, never compare yourself to anyone. By comparison, you rob yourself of self-awareness and block your chances of seeing your strong potential. Comparison only measures your worth by other people’s standards. Here are some practical ways to build self-worth:
It is crucial for everyone to lead healthy lives physically, emotionally, socially, mentally, and otherwise, by evaluating our self-worth. We have to consciously take steps to build and develop our sense of regard for each other and, more importantly, for ourselves. Healthy self-worth is a source of deep and lasting satisfaction in life. With life more overwhelming than ever it has never been more important to recognise yourself as you are, right now. To be grateful, to celebrate your individual story and applaud how far you’ve come.
Consistently we face the pressures of striving for ‘new/next/better’ and yet we don’t take the time to truly honour that today is where it’s at and all we have is right now. Self-Celebration directly tackles this. Self-Celebration is celebrating the person you are now; not your future self or not the person you wish you could be. It is about accepting, encouraging and empowering yourself in this moment. And you can celebrate who you are, anytime or any place and for any reason. Self-Celebration opens up the potential for what we allow ourselves to honour and therefore how we experience our lives. WHAT IT IS…
WHAT IT IS NOT:
Through all of your challenges and successes, I invite you to Stop. Breathe. Feel. and to give yourself credit. See, it is not just the “big” things that you can honour, it’s every step you take in your journey. This is what celebrating yourself is all about– slowing down, noticing your experiences, and acknowledging yourself. Life can feel like a whole bunch of to-do lists and deadlines and requirements. But, you have the opportunity to witness yourself and the incredible journey you are on. This is how you begin to celebrate yourself! When you pause and check-in, you’ll start to recognise the steps you’ve taken over the last day or week or year to get where you are at this moment. There is so much power and strength in naming! Naming the progress you’ve made, the skills you’ve learned, the habits you’ve formed, and so on. While there are no right or wrong ways to celebrate yourself, I recommend doing it often and consistently. This practice will support you in developing awareness, gratitude, and self-love. Molly and the Two Pigeons is a short story for upper primary and lower secondary school children to teach them about Coronavirus in a fun and light-hearted way, and records a significant period of time in history. It could also be used as a teaching tool for parents or teachers. A loveable puppy called Molly forms a friendship with two racing pigeons, Destiny and Grace, who live in a wooden hut in the adjacent garden. Grace is kind-hearted and takes a liking to Molly, Destiny is arrogant and is known as the fastest pigeon in the South, proven by his collection of medals. Their circle of friends expands to include Marv the wise Mandarin Duck, Flash Gordon the Goose, and Merlin the Mosquito. This strange group of friends become united through one cause, to find a cure for the Coronavirus and help the people. Their adventures take them far and wide. They travel to China and learn about the origins of Coronavirus. They explore the Yangtze River, where they learn about the legend of the mountain peaks. They head to South Korea, where they learn about "Track and Trace" to prevent the spread of the virus. They also visit Oxford, England, where they explore how a vaccine is made. Their trip to Oxford coincides with a visit from Prince William, who Molly takes a great liking to and manages to get a royal stroke from. Proceeds will be gifted to a charity to support the NHS and all those needing additional support from the impact of Coronavirus. Download the first chapter of the audiobook for free - click here Get your copies today, available in print and audiobook |
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